A year after baby

Wow! It is Summer 2019! A year ago my life changed tremendously! Just like every parent would say “it’s hard to believe it’s been a year”! Some days and nights felt like forever but I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything! I wanted to give everyone an update on year 1 of being a mom with some exciting news to share and a quick at home workout for any busy mom or dad!

What I’ve learned about being a mom (so far): I’m only a year into being a mom, but I’ve learned so much and I honestly can’t wait to learn more! I know we are suppose to teach our kids, but really our kids teach us so much more than we could ever teach them. Here are some of the top things I’ve learned in the past year.

  1. Forget about having your own schedule. It is no longer your schedule it is your kid’s schedule. You are on their time. And that’s okay. It teaches you that you can plan out your whole life, but most of the time plans change and they usually change for the better. 
  2. You can’t be selfish to a point! Yes, as a parent it is no longer about you and it’s all about your kid, but that also doesn’t mean you should take time for yourself and take care of your health. There really is something to the airline instructions to secure your own oxygen mask before helping your children with theirs. If you are unconscious, you can’t help anyone, and your children will be on their own. The same thing is true in life. If you are barely surviving, whether you see it or not, your children will not be getting the care they need from you. Take time to just breathe and take care of you.
  3. Keep workout equipment in the coat closet. Yes the Fitness side is going to come out. I might not be able to go and get a big long workout in, but I’ve learned that it’s okay to grab some dumbbells from the closet and get a quick workout in while your kid naps or plays. It makes me feel better and feel accomplished even if it’s only 10 minutes.
  4. Everything is different. But better. I am definitely not the same person I was before Connor was born. My body is different, my brain is different, and my marriage is different. I work differently, prioritize differently, and expend all my energy in a totally different way. This takes some getting used to, especially since I really liked who I used to be and didn’t expect to feel this way ,and partly because to the outside world I may not appear different at all. But the fact that the person I have become, and the reasons for these changes, are due to one small (big now) boy who I get to care for every day, make me realize how privileged I am to have gone through these changes in the first place. And I know through it all I’ve turned into a stronger, better me!
  5. The last thing I’ve really learned so far is, you will feel guilty at the end of every day for some reason. I call it mom guilt. But from that I have learned that at the end of the day, when you are beating yourself up for all the things you didn’t do, and all the things you wish you hadn’t done, stop. Stop and start to list the blessings. Every single day we have with our children is a gift. Just ask any momma who has lost her child, whose arms ache to hold her baby one last time. She will tell you. Even the bad stuff, is wonderful. Even the messy and the crazy and the awful and the gut wrenching, is beautiful.  This, more than anything else on this list, has been my greatest lesson as a momma so far. No matter how sad or dark or grieved or messed up or crazy it feels, there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. There is always hope. There is always love.

What helps me get through the long days and nights: As I mentioned in the beginning some days and nights seem to never end and go on forever. So as a new mom what has helped me get through those longs days and nights, reminding myself that everything is temporary and this is just a phase of life. I literally tell myself this is just a phase eventually the next phase could be my son doesn’t want to cuddle anymore, or has moved out and starting his own life. Then those days and nights will be much longer for other reasons. Life is all about phases, yes we want our kids to sleep through the night so we can sleep. But when my son wakes up in the middle of the night and I rock him back to sleep I look at this little kid who won’t be so little all the time and I won’t have these moments and it makes me grateful for him to wake up in the middle of the night because I get to cuddle with him just a little more! Yes, I’m tired. Yes, I would love to sleep. But I would rather cuddle my sleeping boy because there will be time that will come when I can sleep all I want. You have to look at each day with a grateful heart. 

What has surprised me as a first time mom: There are so many surprises when it comes to being a first time mom. But I think the number one surprise for me was how your plans will not always go as planned. What I specifically talking about is breastfeeding!  I thought you either choose to breastfeed or you choose not to. I never realized that the truth is not everyone gets to make that decision. I wanted to breastfeed my son, but my body didn’t and my son needed food. So 4 days after he was born we had to give him formula and at first as a new mom you feel like you failed. But then once again relating back to what I’ve learned. Forcing my body to try and breastfeed (because everyone says that’s what is best) was selfish. My son needed food and it didn’t matter to him where it came from. And that’s okay! His health is more important then me doing what society tells me is best for my son! 

What will I do differently next time prenatal: I often get asked if I would do anything differently the next time during my pregnancy. Well we won’t have to wait to find out, as we are expecting our little daughter September 2019. So with that news out there what will I do differently this time? This time around is a lot different as I have Connor to keep up with and don’t have a good gym routine like I did before he arrived. So yes, things will be differently but not much. I am continuing to get great workouts in when I can. Being a certified Pre & Postnatal coach will continue to help me train properly while being pregnant and postpartum. My nutrition has lacked a little more this time, but each day I’m trying to do better with that. My number one thing I would like to do differently this time is more stretching. My hips, glutes, quads and hamstrings feel so tight so I’m trying to focus on my stretching exercises and trying to keep my back loose as I dealt with a lot of back pain when I was pregnant with Connor. 

Quick at home workout for busy moms and dads: 

  • Squats 
  • High Knees
  • Pushups
  • Mountain Climbers
  • Sit ups for dads, dead bugs for moms 
    • Dead bug for moms who have recently given birth to help heal the core
    • Complete 30 seconds of each of the above exercises and start with 3 sets, or do as many sets as you have time for. 
    • To add resistance, hold child for the squats. If the child is old enough put your child on your back for pushups and hold the child for sit ups. 

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